Ramadan (Brains Better Together)

I've always felt incredibly uncomfortable listening in on the prayers of others. Like a kiss between a bride and groom it's always seemed beautiful and yet incredibly private to me. I feel like an intruder. Even during group prayers, like at family gatherings when we all hold hands and say a blessing together, I feel like an trespasser. And it isn't because I'm agnostic, or that I think people should keep their prayers to themselves, but because I think that they are conversations the pray-er has with his or her god, and they are not meant for me to hear.

None-the-less I felt very fortunate to experience Iftar (the meal when muslims break the Ramadan fast after the sun has set) tonight at the Clintonville-Beechwold Community Resource Center on the last night of Ramadan. The CRC offers ESL classes and many of their students wanted to be able to share the beauty of Islam and Ramadan with members of the community and so I was invited by a friend to eat and learn with them. The food was delicious (I ate sheep brain!) and the people at the CRC as well as the people they serve are wonderful.
But most beautiful to me was hearing the call the prayer and the prayers that followed, sung in arabic, and although I don't understand the language, or even believe in their deity, I felt an overwhelming sense of specialness because I was allowed to witness something pure and faithful. I appreciate that the members of this community were willing to share something so important with me. Yet again, in it's perfection I felt awkward. As much as I believe we can work BETTER TOGETHER, and I love to learn about the beliefs and cultures of others, I will always feel as though I'm eavesdropping on private conversations, hearing secrets I shouldn't know, even though I cannot make any sense of them.

But as my mentor, Patty, always says, "Lean into the awkward." And I did, as I often do, and feel better for the experience.

Growing Better Together

What can I say about our last day?

The people at Habitat for Humanity amaze me. The houses they build are built entirely by volunteers and these people are incredible. Today we met Marge, a retired lady, who had more energy than I could hope to have this morning. There were enough “regulars” to divide up us “kids” today, and we’ve been very fortunate to learn a lot of practical skills from them over the past few days, but I think we also learned a lot about dedication and service. They commit their skills, their bodies, and their good humor to this cause, and they kept me motivated when my energy began to wane. They really are warriors (even if we will never have winter again!).

Reflecting over the past five days, I can’t adequately express my gratitude to the people I have met. My team was awesome! Although we lost a few people before we even began, I wouldn’t change a thing, because our dynamic as a team could not have been better. We laughed a lot and we shared some very profound experiences. I was to thank Asha for her enthusiasm and her fearlessness; Laura for her kindness; Amanda for her constant gentleness; Andy for his patience (because we’re both horrible navigators); and Jay for picking up the slack when I couldn’t do it anymore (navigating that is!). I think we will continue to be friends because we have shared in something no one else can experience.

To all the people who have fed us over the past few days, thank you for opening your homes, your hearts, and your kitchens to us. So many people have shared their faith with us, and that is something so beautiful and personal, that I cannot properly say thanks. Thank you for good conversations, and for filling our bellies after a hard days work, we could not get enough of either, for they are vital forms of sustenance.

I want to thank Felicia, for weathering “scenic routes”, alarm systems, and early mornings with us. She was amazing and went above and beyond for us this week. She not only offered us an essential Jewish perspective, but she too became a friend.

Finally, I want to thank Leo Katsman, whose idea it was to have this trip and who worked for many months to make it happen. I led the trip, but if it was not for him it would not have been possible, and I wish he could have been there. I look forward to the events Leo, the rest of the Better Together exec board and I have planned, so stay tuned!

Everyone I've met over the last five days has proven to me that it is truly possible to work together no matter our differences, that we really can be BETTER TOGETHER.

Driving Better Together

   Wow! What a great week we all had together in this service trip, Better together” Not only were we able to do great community service together with Habitat for Humanity but we were able to learn about different community’s of faith.  That’s one thing that I was really excited about this service trip. I didn’t know actually bonding with our host families and fellow service members would have such an impact on how I view other religions and beliefs. It really makes a difference when you get a personal perspective from someone. It gives you a chance to understand the true beliefs instead of common stereotypes.  Each host we have went to this past week we learned about how family, tradition, faith, community services, hospitality, social justice is so important. This experience has been great! I have really learned that you can learn so much by discussing with your community. As a society we should all be open do this in our normal lives.  Being open minded to our community is what makes the world a better place. Will we ever have peace on earth? Probably not but we can make one step by connecting to our outside communities, that way we can learn and grow to make our world a better place.

----Amanda

Today was our second day at our habitat location, and all day I couldn’t stop thinking about my dad for several reasons, one being that I have watched him do the kind of manual labor we were doing for most of my life, and second because he has formed much of my opinion about interfaith and my place in it as an humanist atheist. As you might have noticed, most charities and community service organizations are faith based, and there seems, at least to me, to be a misconception about atheists when it comes to compassion and caring for others. If you know my dad, you know he’s one of the most generous people on the planet, and if you don’t know him, he’d still give you the shirt off his back. He’s an atheist and has been as long as I can remember, but that doesn’t seem to affect how much he cares about the human race. The work that is done at Habitat for Humanity would be amazing for him: he loves to teach, he’s amazing at building things, and he has more patience than he admits. My father taught me that being a good person is more important than anything, and no matter what he says, he loves the human race. Today, I thought about my father’s hands, and wished I could borrow them, because they are much stronger and generous than mind. I tried to channel his energy through my own hands and to become more generous.

I also want to shout out to Dan Clements, our site leader, for his overwhelming patience. It can’t be easy to work with amateurs all day, every day, but it never seems to faze him. He, too, reminded me of my fathers incredibly generosity.

Tonight’s dinner was better than we could have asked for. One of my favorite things we’ve learned from the Muslims we’ve broken bread with is their amazing tradition of hospitality. Tonight, Murad told us there is a Turkmen saying “Guests are more important than the father,” and his entire family showed us unequaled hospitality. The food was delicious and we enjoyed learning about Turkmen culture. Another thing that has really struck me about the Muslims we have met is how knowledgeable they are about their religion. That may seem like an obvious thing, but they know what they believe and are willing to tell anyone who asks. And they never tire of questions, nor do we tire of asking them. I think it was the perfect last dinner for us because we didn’t want to leave.

Tomorrow will be our last day, and I think we will all leave truly changed by our experiences, and I hope we have more like these in the future.

~ Madeline Steele Stockwell

Painting Better Together

“Today’s No could be tomorrow’s Yes.”

            Today we went to work on a Habitat for Humanity build sight for the first time. Some of us painted rooms and others put up siding. For dinner and a tour we visited Congregation Tifereth Israel.  Cantor Chomsky said something that I really loved, “Today’s no could be tomorrow’s yes.” What he meant is the injustices of now can be changed in the future with our efforts. He also told us that in the future, if we are ever feeling lonely or discouraged, we can think about the family we helped and we won’t feel so bad anymore. Today was hard work but it went fast and it felt good. I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity to work with my fellow volunteers, meet new and amazing people, and have the experience I am having. I mean, it’s spring break and we rounded up seven intelligent, hard-working, driven people to WORK THEIR BUTTS OFF during a BREAK!!!! There are selfless people at the build sight who are also giving up their time to be an angel in someone’s life, and there are people who opened up their homes, and hearts to us. So far, it has been three days of good vibes and good spirits and I don’t see that changing. We’ve cracked a lot of smiles, rolled a lot of paint, learned a lot from good people, and I think we’ve all felt a moment where we have realized that there is still good in the world.

----Asha

Today was the first time I’d ever been ona building site, for Habitat or any other thing. I knew before hand that we would be helping someone, but I didn’t anticipate the responsibility I would feel. We were painting walls—a task that is much harder than it sounds—and I couldn’t help thinking about the fact that this wasn’t just a house…this was a home, or it would be. Someday soon people would live there, and they would look at these walls, and I would want someone to love those walls. I couldn’t help but think of my own home, and the memories we had there, and how different my childhood would have been if I’d lived in any other place. That’s not to say my family isn’t infinitely more important than where we were, but when I picture my childhood in my mind I see my home, and I think it’s beautiful. I hope whoever lives their thinks their home is beautiful, too.

In the evening we went to Congregation Tifereth Israel (a bit earlier than expected). As expected, Cantor Chompsky didn’t need much encouragement to talk, but he seemed very anxious to share his faith with us. He showed us the Torah and many other things. The thing he said that stuck with me most was the way he differentiated social action from social justice. Social action is when someone helps a homeless person, gives them food, or shelter, and these things are very important, but they are a temporary fix to a long term need. Social justice is “changing the game so the poor are no longer poor” and things that solve the problem in the long run. I’ve never heard it put so eloquently, and I wish I could quote him directly more perfectly.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow and seeing what new feelings come to me and the others.

~Madeline Steele Stockwell 

Learning Better Together

This morning we got to sleep in a little, and went to the Noor Islamic Cultural Center where Jeri gave us a basic Islam 101 crash course. Her insight was especially interesting to me because she grew up Christian but converted to Islam later in life and joined Noor when it was established five years ago. She emphasized the connections between Judaism, Christianity and Islam, and how Islam can be seen as a continuation of the other Abrahamic religions. She then took us on a tour of the beautiful mosque that serves over three thousand Muslims in Central Ohio.

From the Mosque we went back to the Restore (after getting a little lost, but what’s a trip without some adventure?) and made some new friends, a few from other universities and some community members that came to donate their time after work. Luckily this time Coady had some actual trained help with him and we were able to do more and help more people.

For dinner we went to Summit United Methodist Church, where Pastor Lucy and a few students and other church member hosted us with lasagna and cake! We learned a little about the Methodist faith and had conversations about service: why we do it and how it could be better. Several people shared stories about experiences that made service special to them.

My personal purpose for doing service is to maintain balance.  I’ve been very privileged in my life: I grew up in a great family, and I was given every opportunity to succeed, and now I feel obligated (in the best sense) to help others who were not given the advantages I was, through no fault of their own, to achieve their dreams. I also believe that I have a tendency to get wrapped up in my own “problems” and when I do, I’m miserable, but if I have an opportunity to step back from that, and to see the problems of someone else I’m reminded of my privilege.
Later we talked about the ways in which service could be improved both for those being served and for those serving. Bob spoke about the tendency of people who do service to place themselves as the hero in such situations, while not allowing people to “become the heroes of their own narratives”. I think that’s a good point—that we can’t really do good without helping others to do good for themselves, and giving them agency in their own lives.

All in all, it was another great day. We’re all pretty dead tired, but still found time to discuss our own beliefs or lack of beliefs in God, and I think we’ve all been enriched by our discussions so far. I know I have.

Tomorrow we begin working on a house, which will be a new experience for all of us. I look forward to having a real impact on the lives of the family that will live there, and hop that we will be filled with new lessons to further enrich us. But now, I have to remind myself not to become “the hero.”

(oh, and Pastor Lucy gave us play dough, and we made this)

~Madeline Steele Stockwell

Serve Better Together

Today was our first day of our alternative spring break, which I’m now calling “Serve Better Together”. We lost a few members before we even began, but I couldn’t be happier with the crew we have working here. I hope you'll soon hear the commentary of Asha, Andy, Laura, J, Amanda, and Felicia. 

This afternoon we went to the Habitat for Humanity Restore, where we met a very nice, and very under-paid, man named Coady. Coady was the only employee working in the store all day, but luckily for him we were not the only volunteers. Several other community members were there as well, and some with their kids. Apparently some schools in Columbus are now requiring as much as 25 hours of community service for graduation, a requirement I fully support. After four and a half hours at the restore, I felt as if the biggest impact we’d made was on Coady, and I could tell he was grateful we had come.

From the Restore we went to dinner. Ryan Uysaler and his wife, Aisha, were kind enough to open up their homes to us, feed us, and answer an endless string of questions about them, their faith, and the lives as immigrants. Ryan and Aisha came to the United States thirteen years ago from Turkey—and they brought with them a delicious culture. We had lentil soup, with bread cooked by Ryan himself, Rice and meat, and many other dishes I cannot pronounce, followed by sweets and turkish tea. And as good as the food was, the thing that struck me most about our time with them was their amazing willingness to host seven strangers into their home. He told us that in Islam they say “guests bring blessings” and he thanked us for coming to them.

When I asked Ryan what he and Islam said about service and charity he said “to serve other is to serve God,” and that service is what makes humans humans, what sets us apart from animals. I think there is something profound in that—that amongst all the terrible things that human beings to do other human beings, we also help each other, and when we do that makes us special.

I’m excited about working with my seven new friends for the next four days, and I look forward to having more conversations and more perspectives about food, and what it means to be human.

~ Madeline Steele Stockwell